The End Is Near

There comes a time when every girl of substance is forced to confront her own mortality. Even though still young, once or twice a month, Kiddo is forced into such experiences. Feel sorry for her readers, this is what she goes through...She gets picked up. Let me repeat that for full comprehension. Kiddo, thinking she is the Mistress of Her Own Universe, is picked up by a veritable giant. A creature who doesn't speak Guinea Pig-lish (although has some basic comprehension of the language), does not emanate the comforting smells of hay, parsley and tomatoes, does not eat her own poop and is just...Other...not right...not one of her...not easily understandable. This Other could certainly kill her at any moment. Its survival, people.

Then the giant hurts her ten times with some sort of contraption that takes off parts of her body. Kiddo did not give the giant leave to do this. The giant takes it upon herself. And why exactly, does the giant do this? Kiddo wonders if the giant is using her body parts to cast spells for world domination or flavor her food with them. This offends Kiddo. Even though she has been known to headbutt her cagemates, she works very hard to live a life of peace and is not pleased that parts of herself are being used for evil. Is this all some sort of terrible plot with disastrous consequences for all of pig-kind?

Or could she just be getting her damn nails clipped?

Either way, the eye doesn't lie.
That's terror, readers. Kiddo feels what she feels and no one can tell her to think or feel differently, thank you very much.


Ah...was it only days ago that she was starting a revolution against the tyranny of the interest-mongers? Look at how happy she was fighting evil. Now she's a victim herself (albeit of a different sort).


When you say your bedtime prayers tonight, Kiddo asks you to remember her.